In the summer of 2006, before Nintendo’s then upcoming Wii
system had a price or release date, desperate fans began spreading
rumors on the now defunct Nintendo NSider forums claiming that Nintendo
would announce the Wii’s price and release date at the
Leipzig Game Convention.
While it was in fact true that Nintendo planned a keynote at GC 06
entitled “Wii Will Prove our Promise”, it was
pretty much confirmed from Nintendo themselves, and the media outlets
covering the keynote that there would be no launch information
announced at the keynote, that didn’t stop the fanboys at
NSider from hyping themselves up with false hope.
After the anticipated event came and went, a number of people who had
convinced themselves that Nintendo was going to spill the beans at GC
06 actually got upset and started flooding the forum with messages
claiming that Nintendo had “abandoned”
it’s fans and had somehow “lied” to them.
Being a fairly well known and mostly well liked member at NSider, I
took the opportunity to mock the outcry immediately following GC 06
with a thread called “Leipzig Game Convention: Disappointment
of a Lifetime”, in which I exaggerated and inflated the
complaints of the whiny fanboys beyond even their own already
The situation was so bad that a few well meaning people actually took
my rant seriously and tried to explain to me why I was over reacting,
while many others got the joke and had a good laugh.
Leipzig Games Convention: Disappointment of a Lifetime
Why must Nintendo continue to so deeply disappoint their fans, their
detractors, and the human race at large? I am of course talking about
Nintendo’s utter mockery of a showing at Leipzig Game
This event is undeniable and ultimate proof that Nintendo must love to
hurt themselves, to cause themselves suffering and misfortune, and take
sick pleasure and fascination in bringing upon themselves death,
sadness, and financial ruin.
Nintendo has also taken their fans for a ride, a ride which we, the
Nintendo fans, have not asked to be taken along for. Such a ride could
be compared to the Confusion and Delay experienced in a traffic jam, or
a broken down rush hour commuter train.
If said train were to be representative of the Nintendo organization
itself, it most certainly would be an out of date steam train, and not
the high speed solar powered Gravy Train which we would at the very
least be expecting from a company with such prestige and authority over
secular issues as Nintendo.
Like a knife wielding butcher working in a slaughterhouse, Nintendo has
single handedly slaughtered the public’s interest in Wii.
Nintendo’s hatred towards the rights of animals does not stop
there, as Nintendo itself was formed in 1889 in celebration of the
extinction of the Japanese wolf due to a nationwide poisoning campaign.
Animal abusers such as these have pentimated, octimated, or perhaps
even decimated their chances to remain a successful company capable of
existing in today’s business world, as evidenced by the
lucrative sales performance of The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap,
which was released in 2005 for Nintendo’s Gameboy Advance
If Ezlo, a character in said video game were an actual person, he would
surely remind us all that Nintendo’s meeting was named
“Wii Will Prove our Promise”, but all it did was
prove that they were liars, seducers, and false prophets, because
Nintendo promised us that the Wii’s release date and pricing
would be revealed at GC.
In breaking this promise, they have blasted their credibility to
smithereens. Their failure to follow through with their promise is
comparable to suicide, or perhaps some form of self inflicted torture,
as all interest in Wii has disappeared since their lack of delivering
us the information that Iwata promised to give us.
Nintendo was heading down this path from the day they disallowed blood
in Mortal Kombat for the Super NES, or perhaps even further back to the
Year of Dragonia, in which the east cost fought the west coast in the
Battle of Uniondale, and by this very fact are marked as a foolish and
arrogant company, and should find it so much the harder to find a
employment or companionship by their fellow beings.
The next time Nintendo decides to use the telephone, I can only pray
that its not to make another prank call to the hearts and souls of the
millions of Nintendo customers across the world.
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