In the summer of 2006, before Nintendo’s then upcoming Wii system had a price or release date, desperate fans began spreading rumors on the now defunct Nintendo NSider forums claiming that Nintendo would announce the Wii’s price and release date at the Leipzig Game Convention.

While it was in fact true that Nintendo planned a keynote at GC 06 entitled “Wii Will Prove our Promise”, it was pretty much confirmed from Nintendo themselves, and the media outlets covering the keynote that there would be no launch information announced at the keynote, that didn’t stop the fanboys at NSider from hyping themselves up with false hope.

After the anticipated event came and went, a number of people who had convinced themselves that Nintendo was going to spill the beans at GC 06 actually got upset and started flooding the forum with messages claiming that Nintendo had “abandoned” it’s fans and had somehow “lied” to them.

Being a fairly well known and mostly well liked member at NSider, I took the opportunity to mock the outcry immediately following GC 06 with a thread called “Leipzig Game Convention: Disappointment of a Lifetime”, in which I exaggerated and inflated the complaints of the whiny fanboys beyond even their own already unreasonable bounds.

The situation was so bad that a few well meaning people actually took my rant seriously and tried to explain to me why I was over reacting, while many others got the joke and had a good laugh.

Leipzig Games Convention: Disappointment of a Lifetime

Why must Nintendo continue to so deeply disappoint their fans, their detractors, and the human race at large? I am of course talking about Nintendo’s utter mockery of a showing at Leipzig Game Convention.

This event is undeniable and ultimate proof that Nintendo must love to hurt themselves, to cause themselves suffering and misfortune, and take sick pleasure and fascination in bringing upon themselves death, sadness, and financial ruin.

Nintendo has also taken their fans for a ride, a ride which we, the Nintendo fans, have not asked to be taken along for. Such a ride could be compared to the Confusion and Delay experienced in a traffic jam, or a broken down rush hour commuter train.

If said train were to be representative of the Nintendo organization itself, it most certainly would be an out of date steam train, and not the high speed solar powered Gravy Train which we would at the very least be expecting from a company with such prestige and authority over secular issues as Nintendo.

Like a knife wielding butcher working in a slaughterhouse, Nintendo has single handedly slaughtered the public’s interest in Wii. Nintendo’s hatred towards the rights of animals does not stop there, as Nintendo itself was formed in 1889 in celebration of the extinction of the Japanese wolf due to a nationwide poisoning campaign.

Animal abusers such as these have pentimated, octimated, or perhaps even decimated their chances to remain a successful company capable of existing in today’s business world, as evidenced by the lucrative sales performance of The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap, which was released in 2005 for Nintendo’s Gameboy Advance game system.

If Ezlo, a character in said video game were an actual person, he would surely remind us all that Nintendo’s meeting was named “Wii Will Prove our Promise”, but all it did was prove that they were liars, seducers, and false prophets, because Nintendo promised us that the Wii’s release date and pricing would be revealed at GC.

In breaking this promise, they have blasted their credibility to smithereens. Their failure to follow through with their promise is comparable to suicide, or perhaps some form of self inflicted torture, as all interest in Wii has disappeared since their lack of delivering us the information that Iwata promised to give us.

Nintendo was heading down this path from the day they disallowed blood in Mortal Kombat for the Super NES, or perhaps even further back to the Year of Dragonia, in which the east cost fought the west coast in the Battle of Uniondale, and by this very fact are marked as a foolish and arrogant company, and should find it so much the harder to find a employment or companionship by their fellow beings.

The next time Nintendo decides to use the telephone, I can only pray that its not to make another prank call to the hearts and souls of the millions of Nintendo customers across the world.  

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